My English is not poor, it's just broken

I am not a native English speaker. That's obvious. My English is not as good as I would like to, even if I posses a certificate from Cambridge that, oh surprise, certifies my proficiency in English. I admit that following my thoughts might be sometimes difficult. Actually, that also happens when I speak or write in Spanish. Not big deal, then. But let's be clear: YOU are the native English speaker. So, apart from some possible meaning misunderstanding and grammar mistakes, you should be in the position of following my ideas without major difficulties. Come on, it's YOUR language, not mine. You are lucky your language is the real esperanto. Fate, along with a former solid empire, has given you an incredible advantage. Take it. Enjoy it. Don't be an ass about it.

I have to admit that most of English speakers, especially the Brits, are very polite and comprehending when it comes to dealing with non-native speakers. Probably more than Spanish speakers when they have to deal with foreigners trying to speak their language. And far far far more than the French (or the Parisiens to be precise). No offence, guys. One of the main issues with English is its complex group of sounds (all those vowels and so) and I imagine that sometimes can be very difficult to understand a non-native English speaker (or someone from Newcastle and places like that). However, we are talking about written English. I know: we are not talking at all. Moreover, there's no 'we' but 'me'. But you get my point. It is written English and, spelling problems aside, it should be easier to understand. 

By the way, I do write very good English. It's only a different, avant-garde and innovative style. I even have a name for it: broken prose. So, if you think my prose is flawed, you are right. It is flawed in the same way the sound of a vinyl is. If you think my prose is imprecise, you are right again. It is imprecise in the same way an impressionist painting is. A beautifully discontinuous and kaleidoscopic prose. 

That's it, my English is not poor it's just broken. I'm so proud of it that, in the future, I will write The Broken Prose Manifesto. Be patient and keep track of these (broken) lines. You will be immensely rewarded.


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